Brett & Kolayna: August 2011

I am not good at this blogging thing! And especially when I haven't really had time to think about anything but Wedding, School, and my church calling as Relief Society president.

Things have been crazy this summer. I feel like it flew by. I start the Dental Hygiene program in less than two weeks. (August 17th is my first day). I am very excited and feel very blessed to be able to even get into the program but, most of all I am very very nervous. It's kind of a big deal you know. It is not like I can slack on these class or I will get kicked out of the program and this is my dream career. I know I will be less nervous after the first week when I understand how everything will be run and get to know the girls in my class. I just have this fear of it moving too fast and I am not able to keep up and everyone is picking up on things faster than me. It has been a constant fear of mine and I know where that fear and doubt are coming from and it is not my Heavenly Father for sure but, the adversary. I know that fear and doubt or inadequacy come from the adversary telling me that I am not good enough and that it’s going to be hard.

So besides that school is starting I am still Relief Society president in the Young Single Adult Branch. I don't think it would be as stressful for me right now if I didn't lose my presidency and had to start over with another one. I know they will be just as supportive to me as my last presidency was. I just knew my other consolers so well and knew I was able to depend on them and they actually did so much and made me look good...lol. Jenevieve Phillips was my first counselor and she left for Arizona and Julia was my second and she got married! Now I have a new first counselor but no second counselor yet.

I went to President West the branch President very stressed one day to tell him my concern of me being RS president. I wasn’t going there to tell him I couldn't do it anymore even though I feel that way. I was going there so he knew how I felt. I wanted to tell him that I felt that when school starts I am not going to be able to be the same RS presidency I am now. I felt that I wasn't going to be able to do everything I do for the girls, which I love my calling and I love those girls, that I might not be able attend to the girls as much as I should. I just wanted him to know I was concerned that the girls were going to get the short end of the stick and I didn't want to do that to them. He gave me some wise advice and said that sometimes in a calling you will have ups and downs but all our Heavenly Father wants us to do is try to do our best and that our Heavenly Father knows us so well that he will know what you are able to do give your situation. And he told me not to worry about doing everything. That’s a problem for me. When someone gives me a task or a calling or weather be school and studying I want to do my very best and if I can't do my best and it just meets the guidelines it’s not good enough for me or sometimes I just don't even want to attempt it if I won’t be able to do it well. I guess another problem is that once someone has seen you do your best you feel as if you have to always live up to that standard.

Besides stress I did have some fun this summer! I went strawberry Picking with some friends, my mom, Tamra, and the boys. Boating is always been a family activity for the summer! Went to the Beach! And Brett has been progressing so well in the Fire Academy! He finished the fire side the begging of July and is now taking the EMT side! I am so proud of him!